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It’s Friday, time for Rick Schwartz Apprentice

Kevin Murphy, August 27, 2010, 19:01:45 (UTC), It's Friday

In case you haven’t guessed already, my “It’s Friday…” headlines mark an irregular series of tragically cliquey attempts to be humorous.

This week, 12 fictional TV shows related to the domain name business that could be super-duper awesome, if only somebody would make them.

Apologies in advance to those concerned.

Sponsored TLD Survivor

Stranded on a desert island, .mobi, .jobs, .asia and .tel must fight to stay alive against all the odds. Each week, viewers vote for which contestant they think should be acquired by Afilias.

South Park

Controversial animated series following the antics of a domain parking company that rejects Adsense links in favor of slandering celebrities and deliberately inciting religious violence.

Lawley & Order

Porn-themed police procedural.

DNSSEC and the City

Paul Vixie, Phillip Hallam-Baker and Ram Mohan star as a trio of independent, no-nonsense women trying to find love, fulfillment and stable DNS resolution in New York City.

Bertrand De La Chappelle’s Show

Racially charged stand-up comedy from everybody’s favorite French GAC rep.

America’s Next Top-Level Domain

In which the 300-page DAG is thrown out in favor of a single sassiness-based criterion.

Rick Schwartz Apprentice

Surreal adaptation of the original, in which the self-styled Domain King imparts utterly unintelligible advice to teams of confused domainers, firing one per week with the catchphrase “You’re pigeon shit!”.

UDRP Panelist Judy

Judge Judy takes a break from her important judicial work in order to oversee UDRP complaints in which the winner is decided purely on the basis of which party can shout the loudest and has the most outrageous mullet.

Domaining With The Stars

Teams of top domainers and D-list celebrities compete to see who can make the biggest profit on a domain sale. This week, Elliot Silver patiently explains the finer points of drop-catching ccTLDs to a sobbing Danny Bonaduce.

Rod the Bounty Hunter

Beckstrom and his team pin down a bail-jumping crack dealer at a seedy El Paso motel.

The .XXX Factor

Same as the original, but goes on for six years.

The Daily Show with Jim Fleming

The perennial commentator and theorist takes a sideways look at today’s domain name news, whether you want him to or not.

Next week: domain-themed movies.

In the meantime, I want to see your TV show ideas in the comments please. If golf can have its own channel, I’m sure we can fill a schedule too.

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