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Fourth digital archery service launches
Kevin Murphy,
June 12, 2012, 09:45:36 (UTC),
Domain Registries
Knipp has become the fourth company to reveal a service to help new gTLD applicants automate their participation in ICANN’s digital archery application batching system.
With First Come First Batch, you only pay if you get into the first batch.
It appears to be the cheapest such service to launch so far, with “early bird” pricing starting at $7,500. If you sign up after June 20, it will set you back $12,500, still the cheapest on the market.
The service is limited to 500 gTLDs, with a limited number per ICANN region and a Europe bias.
Knipp is the outfit behind the Germany-based back-end provider Tango Registry Services which has partnered with Minds + Machines on the .nrw (North Rhine-Westphalia) application.
I am offering a unique enhancement compatible with all other digital archery services. Drawing on my years of experience in semiconductor crystal growth and analysis, deep knowledge of confusing technical jargon, and an ability to inspire fear among the simpleminded, I have engaged a select team of experts to improve the accuracy of your digital archery attempts Digital archery relies on synchronizing two events at separate locations. As we know from Einstein’s theory of relativity, the concept of isolated synchronization leads to a paradox. However, using a select team of transcendental meditators, astrologers, and shamans, we first examine your aura and re-tune your chakras to harmonize the energy field between you and the TAS. After adjusting the feng shui of your office, and sacrificing a virgin goat, we will direct positive healing vibrations through your digital archery system to create a quantum entanglement between your system and the TAS, virtually ensuring absolute success. We only charge a fee of $1000 if you are in the first batch. This system is guaranteed to work only if you have complete faith in it. Any doubt in your mind will disrupt the flow of chi, and hence the failure will be solely your fault.
Do you do a discount for Capricorns?
The hard part with you, Kevin, is having the goat remain a virgin.
Seriously, though, volume applicants are writing their own scripts to automate their shots. That might be outside of the expertise of some applicants, so these kinds of services may make a certain kind of sense for some people.
On the other hand, they could be utter snakeoil. The whole archery scheme is so surreal it’s difficult to make a call. Outlandish marketing claims about being “experts” in something not even ICANN fully understands certainly don’t help matters.
With a bit of luck ICANN will see sense and call the whole ridiculous thing off.
Dot Kiwi developed its own tool to automate our DA shot. It took 8 hours to develop and we have exceptional results (i.e. the same results as those published on the various archery websites). We’re not a volume applicant and its not a terribly complicated process to automate. However, there is no accounting for latency fluctuations no matter how good your stuff is and no matter how few hops. I’m tempted to make our tool freely available to (any non-AsiaPacific!) applicants.
I’m finding it hard to see the value of the $7.5k to $25k success fee. Until I see an offer that guarantees a perfect shot, I’m unconvinced, and of course we’ll probably never know if it was a perfect shot because ICANN won’t disclose the actual score, just your batch ranking.
As you say Kevin, the whole thing is so surreal and I for one hope ICANN calls the archery off.
Can I use the tool you just developed? I think it is a rip off to pay such a large amount.
thanks
What I can’t understand is why are ICANN not just selling lottery tickets? And the more tickets you buy, the better your chance of winning.
I guess if you are willing to buy a TLD archery fees on top of that are insignificant, but for good causes that is an unwanted expense.
I heard something about gambling being illegal in California, where ICANN is based, which ruled out the batches being drawn from a hat or any other random method